Fear and Anxiety Management

"Nothing in life is to be feared - it is only to be understood."
~Marie Curie~

It's Time To Get ALERT!

The use of the ALERT system will help you begin the process of making positive changes.  Do remember that change takes time and that you are fighting fears and negative scripts or beliefs about yourself which are strongly fixed and very damaging.

Assess what causes you anxiety, panic and stress and identify the negative scripts.

Lessen the impact of the stressor by identifying the sick, irrational, unrealistic thinking underlying your beliefs and feelings about the stressor.

Ease out of the stressor by developing new healthy affirmations to teach you about a new wat to think of yourself

Relax by breathing in the new messages and breathing out the old negative ones.

Take action to implement the change needed

For example:-

OLD MESSAGE: This shouldn't be this hard.
NEW AFFIRMATION: I can and need to spend the time and energy necessary to change my lifestyle because I deserve it.

OLD MESSAGE: I am ugly and unacceptable.
NEW AFFIRMATION: I accept myself as beautiful and am making a commitment to let that beauty shine by changing my life.

OLD MESSAGE: I don't deserve anything - I'm worthless.
NEW AFFIRMATION: I am a good person & deserve life, love and happiness.

OLD MESSAGE: I should be able to do this on my own.
NEW AFFIRMATION: It is important for me to be open with my feelings to have them validated and to explore them.  I am worth the time and support of others.

 

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don’t be fooled by me.Don’t be fooled by the mask I wear.For I wear a mask, a thousand masks, masks that I’m afraid to take off,and none of them is me.Pretending is an art that’s second nature to me, but don’t be fooled.For God’s sake don’t be fooled.I give you the impression that I’m secure,that all is sunny, that confidence is my name and coolness my game,that the water’s calm and I need no-one.But don’t believe me.

I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a sophisticated façade to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows.But such a glance is precisely my salvation.My only hope and I know it.That is, if it’s followed by acceptance, if it’s followed by love.It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.It’s the only thing that will assure me of what I can’t assure myself,That I’m really worth something.

But I don’t tell you this. I don’t dare. I’m afraid to.I’m afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance, will not be followed by loveI’m afraid you’ll think less of me, that you’ll laughAnd your laugh would kill me.I’m afraid that deep down I’m nothing, that I’m just no good, and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a façade of assurance withoutand a trembling child within.I tell you everything that’s really nothing,and nothing of what’s everything,of what’s crying within me.

So when I I’m going through my routineDo not be fooled by what I’m saying.I want you to know how important you are to me, how you alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble.You alone can remove my maskYou alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic and uncertainty,from my lonely prison. If you choose to.Please do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you.The nearer you approach me the blinder I may strike back.It’s irrational, but I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.But I am told that love is stronger than strong wallsand in this lies my hope.Please try to beat down those wallswith firm handsbut with gentle handsfor a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?I am someone you know very well.For I am every man you meetand I am every woman you meet.

(adapted from original by Charles C. Finn by Lyn Place)